1 Year ago TODAY...

my life changed FOREVER!!! It was today around 3pm that Joshua was placed in my arms for the very 1st time. I remember that day like it was yesturday. We arrived in Guatemala a little after 11:30am. It took a while to get through customs and grab our bags so, when we got outside our shuttle had already left. Thankfully, there was someone close by that spoke English and was able to help us out. They phoned the Radisson to let them know we were there. They had already dropped off the 1st set of people and were heading back for us.

We arrived and unloaded our items. There was to be another shuttle to arrive around 2:30pm to take us to our place in Antigua. I remember the nervousness of that day oh so clearly. How would I react? I knew in my heart that I LOVED this child through pictures but, wondered what kind of love it was? Was it that overwhelming love or was it that kind of I feel for you love? Time started drawing closer and my stomache started doing flip flops. I thought I was going to be sick.

We went down to the lobby to wait. There was another lady there waiting for her child. She was thinking about putting together the excersaucer she had bought for her but didn't know if she had enough time. We offered our help and started working. Actually, Michael worked more than I as I was to overly worked up and emotional. That helped pass the time. By the time we were finished it was about 2pm man, did I start to feel even sicker. My mind was going nutso. Well, 2pm came and went and so, did our fellow CCI buddy. I started to get a little worried. I was wondering where our baby was. Around 2:30pm the phone at the Radisson rang and they said it was for me. Our translator had gotten a flat tire and said she would be there in just a little bit and asked us if we could wait. I of course, said YES!!!!!! A little while later here he came with our foster mom. I tried my best to keep it together but, just couldn't. I LOVED my little boy. I just stood there holding him and staring into those gorgeous eyes. The love I felt for him on that day is indescribable. I seriously felt like I had just given birth to a 13lb. baby. After we asked our questions my FM handed me a photo album that she had made up of Joshua. I looked through it and thought how wonderful she is. We said our goodbye's and headed out to Antigua.

I thought how can it get any better. We drove those curvey roads to Antigua. All I could do was hold him and cry. PRAISING GOD through my many many tears. We arrived to the El Palacio De Dona Beatriz. It's a VERY nice bed and breakfast in Antigua. As I stated earlier life couldn't get any better so, I thought. But, God had other plans. It was his plan for me not to only meet my son but, Julie and her amazing family also. Julie has become one of my dearest friends during this journey. I had the complete and utter joy and honor of meeting her, her son Gavin, daughter Bailey and mother Roberta. We spent numerous hours together hanging out at our hotel and walking the beautiful streets of Antigua. There are many pictures from that trip that I have of Joshua but, some of my most treasured are those of him and Gavin and the ones of our wonderful foster mom Maria Luisa.

It was time to head out. The day that I had been dreading ALL week!!! I seriously started crying 3 days before it was time to go. We packed our bags and headed back into Guatemala city. We were due to meet our FM at 4pm. We were in our room taping Joshua when the phone rang. YES, we have it saved. I looked at Michael and said, "She's early". I continued holding him and went down the elevator. I was a TOTAL wreck. I was crying like a baby. I kept praying please Dear God help me!!!! How can I do this....How can I leave my son?? I remember those pains oh so clearly. Thankfully God knew that I was going to be able to leave my son. The doors opened and there she was. I kept thinking she's going to take my baby what am I going to do. But, she doesn't instead she hugs me and starts talking. I ask Michael to grab a translator. She sits and tell me that we are his mommy and daddy and that she will take care of us until we can come back to get him. She can tell that we LOVE him very much. We talk back and forth for about 45 min. It is time for her to leave. Before leaving though she hands me a bag. There's a purse in it and a card. It's a Mother's Day card from my son. I didn't know that Guatemala and America celebrated the same day. She said you are his mother Happy Mother's Day!!! I grab him in my arms one more time for a sweet kiss. Hug and kiss her goodbye and send them both off in a cab. I can't tell you the PEACE that I felt on that day. God had blessed me beyond measure. My fears were gone. Yes, I missed him but, I wasn't dying inside. I knew that he was okay and was being LOVED SO VERY MUCH!!!!!!

Here we are a year later with Joshua FOREVER HOME!!! The LOVE I feel for this child today is still UNDESCRIBABLE!!! He is such an amazing little guy. He came right into this family and automatically found his place. It's like he's been with us FOREVER. Truly God handpicked this child for our home. Our God is amazing.

I'm sorry I don't have any pictures from that glorious day and week. I can't seem to find my disk. However, if you would like to see them or read more about the trip you can look back at my old posts.

Here's Joshua today. He is such a JOY!!!!!!! This picture shows his craziness. He LOVES walking around the house with a stuffed animal hanging out of his mouth. :)



Mr. Handsome later on today after church. Isn't he the CUTEST thing???



I know there's many of you out there that have or are getting ready for a visit trip. I pray that you have a wonderful time. If there's any advice that I can give it's to just sit back and take in those first few minutes with your baby. It's a very special time. The questions can wait. Just smell, hug, kiss and gaze into your childs eyes. Also, get to know your foster mom some. They are WONDERFUL people and they truly do LOVE our children. For those debating on going. If you can afford it it's VERY worth it. We had a great time getting to know him, making new friends and spending time with our foster mom.

Sorry, I didn't mean for this post to be so long. Hope everyone enjoyed it. Have a great evening and as always remember to keep praying the kids around the world home.